Long distance relationships are an interesting conversation topic for me. Mainly because I’ve been in a few myself. My most serious one actually lasted for two years. Whilst I was in it I wouldn’t have defined it as long distance, but looking back I guess it kind of was. We met through a mutual friend and he attended a High School in my hometown however he actually lived over 20 miles away.
I remember being annoyed one day because we had plans to meet however they got cancelled through travelling difficulties. I was a little upset and I remember my mum saying “Well, that’s what happens when you choose to date someone who lives far away.”
This is the only memory I have of being upset whenever I couldn’t see a boyfriend of mine. Maybe my mum kicked any sensitivity I had over it out of me, I’m not really sure. Since then me and that particular boy went our separate ways and I didn’t stop falling for boys that didn’t live close to me.
I found out that I absolutely despised the idea of dating a boy whom my friends had already dated in the past. I nearly tried it once, I flirted online with one of my close friend’s ex and it was really fun, however thinking back it was total rebound, and it’s relief nothing progressed. The actual flirting was fun and he initiated it, however I then pestered him about meeting in person for ‘coffee’ and he got annoyed at me after a while. Oops?
But as the saying goes… and one my ex was rather fond of… “Don’t start something you cannot finish.”
So, the perfect answer to preventing that horrible situation from happening was finding boys that were far away. And it worked. I’ve been in three serious relationships including my current one and all of them including my not so serious experiences have been with boys that only I have touched. Well not only I, but in my friendship circle I. And I love that.
I understand that it can work, since your man and your friend just “weren’t compatible” and “we work so much better as friends” and “I never really liked him anyway” and “You can have him whilst I bitch about you behind you back” HOWEVER for me and judging by the girls I choose to spend my social life with…. trust me, it’s better this way.
The internet is amazing thing for relationships, in my opinion. No really I think it is. It gives you the opportunity to meet people you wouldn’t have met in real life and you may never get to meet. It’s easy to find people who have the same interests as you and if you and someone else like the same bands and enjoy the same tv shows, chances are you’re going to get on well.
People say long distance relationships are stupid however I don’t think so. I once heard of a guy who started dating a girl and after two months of being together he had to move away from her for three years. And even though they could only be with each other physically twice a year for those years, they stayed together. I found that remarkable. It gave me hope for the people I know who are dating their SO online.
Personally however I could never do one again. My better half is a boy I went to school with, and I spent 7 miserable years in that school. A lot of my memories (mostly bad) are from that school and now that I’ve experienced the feeling of being with someone who I can reminisce with, I don’t like the feeling of being without it.
With that said, I definitely do not regret my long distance relationships. Because of them, I don’t take my fella for granted. I make plans with him all the time, I get excited when I have plans to see him that evening, I don’t get sad when we have to cancel because I feel blessed that I can just see him the next day.
What are your views on long distance/online relationships? Are you currently in one? If you are or have been, has it taught you anything?
If you want my advice on any issue regarding love/sex/relationships please don’t hesitate to send me a submission here! 🙂