I used to blog all of the time. It was almost like I couldn’t help it, blog ideas would pop into my life and before I even knew it, my fingers were typing away. I didn’t even know my laptop was on?
Anyway, life has taken over since then. I had to graduate from University, because time actually moves, and not long after that I found myself sat in front of a computer. Same as my old life, apart from, this time I am getting paid to sit there. And type. And click away. However, instead of spilling my feelings and ideas onto a free blogging site, I was generating as much profit for my new company as possible. Write this, bill that, answer this, type that, answer your phone. Oh great, I am now an adult.
Now I’m not saying my new life is boring. On the contrary, I love it. Who knew money could be so addictive? Instead spending 12 hours eating, sleeping and blogging and, as a result, pissing money – I am sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I am getting paid for it!
It has come at a price though. I do not recognise myself sometimes. A part of me argues that this is all part of growing up, and that we all have that one day where we realise that life will never the same again. But then another part of me wonders if I just got boring. I have not been blogging, I have not been drawing, I have not been taking pictures. And as a result of this, I feel less creative. And it sucks. It bums me out.
If that weren’t enough, I am now in a long term relationship with my school sweetheart…ish. I had a massive crush on him anyway, but he didn’t seem to keen when we were students. Maybe, as soon as I reached my 20s, I forced myself upon him, but who cares now? The point is that now, I see him in the hours I am not at work, which makes it even harder to not blog. Now again, I’m not saying this is a bad thing. Actually, if he knew I was blogging this right now, he would probably pay good money to read it. Or at least, beg and beg for me to show it to him. But I will not. At least, I do not want to. For the simple reason being, I want at least a little privacy in my life. I love him and I love being around him, I love sharing things with him but I would also like to have something that is my own still.
When it comes to my writing, he is very supportive. I have had a Novel idea in my head for around 3 years now, and he’s the only other person in the world who knows my storyline cover to cover. I’d written it all down in a 10 page synopsis and with some courage, I sent it to him. He finally read it all a few weeks ago and he told me it made him cry. Hopefully he meant in the good sense. If not, then fuck him, I’m going to write it anyway.
Which is why I want to start this blog back up. I want my writing to improve, I want my brain to become creative again. I want the joy I had when I blogged back in the good ol’ days when my biggest problem was that I hadn’t done the University reading.
Just to quickly introduce myself before I go, I am 22 years old and the best way to describe me is ambitious but a bit lazy. I am a great judge of character and a shitty liar. I trust too easy and I love dressing up. 2010 was my favourite year however 2015 is coming to a close second.